The Cheese Made Me Do It!

Where to begin, this last week was like 3 weeks rolled into one!!! A week like this in Ashlee Pre29 would have completely derailed me in my efforts...

I continue to learn a lot about myself on this journey and amazingly as my muscles get stronger so does my courage, my communication and my love. It has been really interesting as I have focused so much energy into taking care of my self physically I was ignoring something that was actually reeking havoc on my daily person. I have been suffering from insomnia and restless nights of sleep since the beginning of January. I guess I have a big tolerance for annoying things because when it finally hit me that I can't sleep at night I was so frustrated and decided I need to get to the bottom of this ASAP...

Family stuff=everyone is supportive, HAPPY and healthy

Relationship=keeps getting better!

Friendships=so blessed to have these people in my life

Work=frustrating and torture

Ding ding ding!

I had let some work issues eat away at me and fester during my hours of rest. During the day I am so busy and I have just been feeling such positive energy I think I was able to ignore it. Now it was at the for front of my mind and Ashlee at 29 had to take care of herself. To give you some background my job offers me a lot of freedoms and I am not micro managed at all so it is traditional for me to take care of issues and go weeks without interacting with my boss. It is very nice but at times it becomes difficult to actually ask for help. So once I pin pointed the cause of my insomnia I requested a sit down with my boss for the next day. That night I slept like a baby, I knew what we need to talk about and I had the confidence that I would be able to handle the sensitive subject matter without rehearsing it in my head over and over again until 4 am!!! Hallelujah!!!

This felt amazing I was so at peace with the situation, I just had a moment of clarity that this would need to be a fight or a situation where I had to argue my point and I was able to just let go. The meeting the nest day went amazing all of my "issues" were heard and extremely well received. 

From that moment on Thursday I realized I had gone through just about every emotion available to me this week! Until Friday a misunderstanding was brought to my attention along with that I had unintentionally hurt someone I love more then anything. This with a very emotional and tearful conversation (that I will not discuss the details) however was a truly powerful conversation that was very healing and a great moment of growth in our relationship. It was a true blessing because that visit was spontaneous but God knew this situation needed to be resolved right then.

Now on to the Cheese...

 Again I am learning... So I learned this week that I am not Super Woman and stress does get to me. I was previously immune to the thing and I thank my father for that... This week I experience stress and frustration to the point where by the end of the day Wednesday I developed at giant knot in my neck and back. I was pissed because my dear friend and massage therapist Rachelle had spent a lot of TLC in those areas just a couple weeks ago, WTF??? So that day I come home for lunch with my healthy eating habits in mind. I choose some butternut squash soup and as I wait for it to heat I decide to have a slice of cheese... A slice of cheese... Well that slice of cheese would taste delicious on a salty cracker, appropriately named Saltines and I just happen to have a sleeve open. Well an hour later and I barely touched my soup I consumed a small block of sharp cheddar over a sleeve of Saltines. DELICIOUS!!!

Well that was my confession, the stress got to me and I didn't care. 

Well the only problem with that is it was a set back, this week my eating habits were not what I have strived for and it set in motion the excuse of "well it's not that big of a deal" for everything I ate. So as I have committed to my exercise I now need to commit to MYSELF that my diet will be better and my choices will be healthier. When I am faced with stress I will acknowledge and respect it because when I ignore it my conscious takes a nap. So this is my wake up call and this week is now behind me and I have learned... I hope next week... I mean, next week I WILL be able to reports that my choices we better!!!

My workouts continue without hesitation and I will update my log... I am pretty freaking proud of myself, they continue to kick my ass but I LOVE every drip of sweat and burning rep I do!

Wanna Cry... Tears of Joy

I am trying to be a more proactive blogger, can you tell??? Any who this week has been good I am coming out of my blah. I have been trying to focus on all the positives though, I got to spend time with two of my favorite girls yesterday Jenn and Whitney. For everyone that knows Jenn she is recovering from her surgery and is happy to have answers to her health issues and is moving on from her thyroid cancer. Yes people CANCER at 27 years old. Let her be a role model to you all, if something doesn't feel right be your own advocate. For 5 years Jenn has not been healthy and the doctors never had an answer for her.  She begins her radioactive iodine treatment soon, so if you see her be sure to stay 5 feet away :) I love Jen and Whitney, they are both so lively and fun to be around. Sometimes is is healthy to escape the Lakeshow...

     Me helping Whit with a dress malfunction!

      Jenn and I at a li'l baseball game pre-party!

So yesterday I missed my workout but I think my girl time was equally therapeutic. Yesterday's Burpee Madness will not go unnoticed! We are adding on to the back end of today's work out that our new trainer named, "Harder Then Ever Workout"... I think this will be the most painful lesson to not skip workouts!!! I am still feeling fatigued in my legs and arms from Cherry Boom and Psycho Sit-UPs.

Well I will let you know how it goes tonight or not if I don't survive it...

Other POSITIVE notes: Ray is recovering nicely from his ankle fusion surgery and is being a good sport even after the morphine wore off.
Debi's niece was finally born!!! After a scare with her breathing is now home safe and sound.
Kenny loves his new job.

He traded a shirt and tie with this view,  

 

To driving a snowmobile to rescue injured skiers, oh an lets not for get the view!

  

It is pretty easy to talk yourself out of a funk when you have so many blessing to account for, including the physical ability to do the workouts that make me wanna cry!

                                                 

Game On

So I have survived week one in the public blogging world. My commitment is going strong, if I only knew blogging=motivation I would have been her 3 years ago. I feel excited about my goals and feel this momentum is increasing my awareness to other goals that have been lingering in my sub conscious. Those goals will be TBA later, I am trying to curb my ADD, so I am not going to start stretching myself thin here too.
So the good, fun, exciting news is I have shed my vacation, Thanksgiving, wedding festivities, birthday and Vegas weight gain. I am just about back to the weight I was before life interrupted me in November. This weight loss is the prefect example of what being committed does. I have worked out 13 of the past 16 days and I am getting into a groove. Now I am back at square 1, because when I choose my mission I was in the red.
I am very grateful for my workout buddies, weather you are at the gym with me or we're texting or iChatting, it is the strongest tool I have... With this mini community that has been created there is always some one to jump in first or push you no matter how sore and sorry you are feeling for yourself.
Another positive motivation is to be reminded that without your health you have nothing. Unfortunately some people who are very near and dear to my heart are suffering from some horrible health issues. Both of them are suffering from alignments that are genetic and/or unpreventable but the main thing that will help them recover is they were healthy when their symptoms struck. I am very blessed to have good genes but I know those are just a part of it. I have to be an active participant in my health, I want to be as strong in my mind, body and spirit so if an issue ever arises my body will be ready to fight and recover.
Merry Christmas, I pray that every one's week was as blessed as mine.

In the beggining... A re-post



Nov. 11, 2011






 

The post that started it all...
So I recently celebrated my 29th birthday. It was a little scary but a awesome opportunity for me to reflect on my 20's and they have been nothing short of amazing! However I noticed I am "a li'l full of shit" not when it come to my commitments to my family, friends and work but when it comes to myself. I make commitments, goals and promises to myself that I flake on about as quickly as I made them and I have been okay with that until now! I think women are especially prone to this and I am sure you can relate... So I am choosing to make a commitment to myself but to help change my pattern I am going to put it out in public. I am asking for support from all the people I am blessed with but in return I would like to give my support on your journey too.
My incredible 20's (and teen years) are now nicely reflected when I wear a bikini, not the worst but not the best. So my mission will be to reverse, recover, and remove the evidence of all my great adventures for my body! I know most of us have spoken about our diets, exercise and motivation while drinking cocktails and eating cheese. Now don't fret by no means am I suggesting getting rid of those traditions. I just think we could all use the extra support, motivation and a sounding board. 
Hopefully this little community will encourage all of us in not only our fitness goals but wherever one of us may feel like we have been neglecting.
Obviously there are a million and one ways to pursue our ideal selves and what works for one person may not for another. I am hoping this community will become a place to give motivation, variety and support not matter what means you may be using.
I am excited about some of the resources I have and love learning what maybe working for you. So that being said lets do this, so we can be some bad ass bitches!