When all else fails, CRY FOR HELP!!!

Like Dorthy in the land of Oz...
on my journey along the yellow brink road, I continue to be surprised around each corner.

Welcome to the CortiZONE!!!

I have joined the club!

Well I am back... Not to sure where I left off but let me get all caught up. I continued to try to regain my strength, confidence and my motivation. I choose to resume my BodyRock workouts... While at the gym I spotted a doctor, an orthopedic surgeon I know and trust... I did something I typically would chastise anyone else for doing but I was hoping to gain professional reassurance that my denial was fine and what safer place then away from a doctor's office???

I approached Dr. Banner as he rode the stationary bike. After a quick explanation of my shoulder stuff, he quickly said, "give me 2 minutes to finish up". Dr. Banner gave me a complete and thorough shoulder exam right then and there. His professional opinion said those magic words, I don't think anything is torn!!! Woop Woop!!! He confirmed working out was good and a couple moves to avoid but encouraged an x-ray because he suspected calcium deposits or bursitis. The un-official diagnosis was like a magic wand. I have been back in the groove...


I did follow Dr.'s orders and set up an appointment with the trusty Doc. More exams, x-rays and conversation lead Dr. Banner to the diagnosis of bursitis (swelling of the lubricating gland), so the inflammation causing limited range of motion because I don't have the room to move around and the pain is from my humorous hitting my clavicle. So the Rx is cortisone! I took that shot like a champ, except that I was so tense looking away my neck hurt later that night. Any who I asked a lot of questions and followed up with internet research. I feel good but not over doing it to avoid further injury and I am doing the rehab exercises Rx as well, for teeny tiny, weightless moves they kick my shoulders butts!

Kenny was very excited for me that I would now be able to throw a 96 mile an hour softball... I had to remind him I am left handed(like him) and it was my right shoulder. He always tries to find the silver lining!

Thanks Dr. Banner! Mostly for the Peace of Mind, 2nd for the "good stuff"!

They're Back...

That's right my strength and definition in my arms are back, well getting there!
They became a great motivation, as I started working on my fitness my arms were the first to respond to my efforts. It was fun to watch them grow and take shape but then after my 2 week break from my shoulder "thing" they deflated and so did my attitude (see previous post). After a solid week back in the gym and revisiting some of the first Body Rock workouts that started this love affair I feel rejuvenated and my arms responded to the efforts. I am again sore and proud!

The next session of Pilates started again and I am excited. It is a honest gauge to not just my fitness but what is going on that day. It is so interesting how the poses at every level test your strength and endurance but a pose that your felt sturdy in last week at the highest level, becomes a physical challenge at level one the next week. Once a week for an hour I get to have a silent conversation with my body and it lets me know what it needs. If you have never taken a Pilates class I encourage you to add some into you routine but find a teacher that comes with good word of mouth or it won't be as valuable.


ALSO I have decided to stop right there because the past two weeks have been good and I don't want to spend anymore time focusing on the mishaps, misfortunes or stressors!

LIFE IS GOOD AND I AM 

ENJOYING MY JOURNEY

*Sorry I have no new photos, I have misplaced or lost my camera*

 

Mind Games... Wanna join?



 GAME ON


Please pardon my absence. In the past 3 weeks I have experienced so many emotions, events, changes, ups, downs, highs and lows. If I had been keeping up on my postings you probably could have diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder. So now that I have giving you fair warning here we go...

Let's start with the downs, lows, angry, sad, etc...

First: An issue I have had with my shoulder was finally looked at. I was "unofficially" diagnosed with a partial dislocation that is developing into frozen shoulder. And 2 weeks into therapeutic treatments there are no improvements, if not made things worse. Along with that diagnosis came a NO BODY WEIGHT EXERCISES until it is resolved! Argh, I am lost without my burpees, push ups, pull ups. I was so excited by the new definition of my arms and how I felt all over. With 2 weeks off from these moves alone I feel like I am at square one. (A very good lesson of how these style of moves if a full body workout) This attention to a weakness I have has been very depressing, it took the wind out of my sails. Also psychologically I was doing just fine until it was actually defined as something and now I notice the pain and lack of range more then ever... I am trying to remain positive and keep going on my exercises with just more focus on legs and cardio but it is not the same.

Normal and healthy

No Bueno

 Second: I have made so many GREAT changes to my diet. I am eating from the earth, no sugar, flour or processing, eating a nutrient rich breakfast, less coffee, a lot of organic, more green tea and water, and NO CHEESE! During the weekend I allow a window of time for  myself to enjoy foods and drinks I don't during the week. This has been going strong for a month and I feel proud of my strength and will power especially as we're are transitioning into a more social season. My expectation was that I would begin to notice great things because this is the first time I have included diet changes in my effort but... NOPE!!! I don't f-ing get it! Now my struggle is to not give up, throw in the towel and hit that slippery slop of my choices won't matter...
I am remaining strong with these conclusions: What would I feel like if I wouldn't have changed?, Maybe I just need to be more patient?, Possibly I was much more out of shape then I thought?

There have also been some very tragic events and other lame stuff that have happened to the person I love so much... Kenny is a trooper and is in good spirits but I am his support system and he doesn't need to hear about my ho hums that dwarf in comparison to what he has gone through this last month!  

Now on to happier thoughts and the silver lining...
#1- I am not quitting. These new habits I have started feel good psychologically and physically! I appreciate all of the benefits this journey is have on my life, I feel more positive and that I am experiencing life's events with a better attitude. 

#2- I have AMAZING family, friends and my Kenny. All of the people that choose to share their life with me bring me joy, laughter, happiness and memories that I feel incredibly blessed and spoiled to have on a daily basis. The support they give me provides me the courage to live my life to the fullest and without fears. 
 

#3- I am thankful to be in this mess with a friend! Fawne and I have bonded over a lot of sweat and laughter. We have a great balancing act going, it seems like we are mostly in sync but when one of us is in a funk the other is the strength and motivation to keep it going. Fawne is going to Mexico soon and this shoulder crap is gonna need to be put on the back burner so we can have her feeling bikini sexy in a couple weeks!

As for now...

I am going to sign off. I am looking forward to Monday and having this week be productive and regenerating. I also need to spend more time here, keeping my blog up to date helps to keep me in the moment and a more regular reminder of all the things that are GREAT in my life. Thank you for being there for me! xoxo Ashlee

HAPPY SPRING EVERYONE 

 

How come it's so easy???

I was so excited for this update for the past week but when I sat down to write it, BAM writer's block!

Why is it so easy to be negative, focus on the wrongs or could of, would have, should have? It is a sad reality that we are so wired to notice the negative and completely ignore all the POSITIVE!




I am happy to report I have turned a corner and been rejuvenated. For the past 3 weeks I have been adjusting my eating habits for the better. I know I have mentioned this before but this time I am practicing what I preach and actually being honest with myself. Instead doing a designer diet and focusing on drastic changes that I will be unable to sustain, I am taking the knowledge I do know and educating myself on the words of advice from people (my sister, 4 Hour Body and Body Rock) I  believe in. 
A small recap of the changes I promised to make and am sticking to after coming out of my personal denial:
BREAKFAST NO SUGAR, LOTS OF PROTEIN
SUPER FOODS NUTRIENT RICH FOOD FILLS MY PLATE
NO WHITE NO PROCESSED OR REFINED ANYTHING
EATING REGULAR EATING 3-5 MEALS A DAY, NO HUNGER NO SNACKING
I began following a very basic diet that seems very strict but figured out how to feed myself by focusing on health over taste, lean protein, veggies and lentils and that was it. I learned to be creative with spices and combination. From there I realized I was adding a lot of unnecessary snacking, cheese and oils, I wasn't previously holding myself accountable for. I feel satisfied, healthy and happy. I feel strong and encouraged that I have finally gained control of my perception vs. the reality. 

I LOVE MY WORKOUTS! 
They are a part of my daily life and I enjoy them more then sitting down and watching a favorite TV show or drinking a beer. If you are having a hard time getting motivated or staying motivated, these are some things that help me keep going...
#1 I have a workout partner. Even on days we don't workout together, I am so competitive that I  will workout alone to either encourage her or to rub it in her face (that's just me)
#2 Find what works for you, classes, running alone, home vs. gym, training for a event. Variety is awesome and trying enough things you are bound to find one that sticks.
#3 I love buying a new pair of shoes, workout pants, etc. when the other ones are feeling broken down.
I am getting excited to find a new bikini for this summer I have earned it! On that note...

PRAY FOR SUMMER! These "surprise" it snowed 3 feet storms are 
over rated!
 

 

 Happy 3 Month Anniversary!

Yes for anyone who is counting I am officially 29 and 1/4 and if you are reading this you probably haven't glorified or announced a 1/4 birthday since you were 5... Thankfully I am HAPPY and SATISFIED with the progress I have made and where I am headed, 3 month after beginning this journey. Thank you all for your words of encouragement! I love hearing from all of you who are following, it truly helps keep me motivated and driven. I hope I am giving you some encouragement in return! I have been slacking on any hard data or photos but I am hoping to catch up with those soon.

Denial is Painful...

Please excuse my lack of updates and motivation...
But I have been in a painful place called, Denial in the country of Resistance. I am about to hit my 3 month mark on my journey and I already hit a plateau, WTF!  I continue my workouts but notice I don't have the drive or the dripping of sweat I used to, my endurance grows and I feel stronger but I am not noticing a whole lot of change in my appearance. Based on the effort I am putting in I don't feel like I am being unrealistic but am I being honest???


Last Friday after a night of work and a 
DELICIOUS margarita, I got home and the frustration and disappointment set it. I reflected on my margarita and thought after all the hard work I put in am I just canceling one out for the other???

Now this is a stupid question because the answer is YES, it has always been YES, I have always known it was YES but typical me I thought I could ignore the reality...

In the last 10 years PS(post sports) I have been trying to figure out this whole health, diet and exercise thing and I have done a lot of reading. Health magazines, creepy diets, healthy diet habit, "Eat this, Not that", blah blah blah. The issue for me was easy I LOVE food and good food too so those readings did not apply to me. Unfortunately this day in age the target market for this educational material is for the "fast food nation" and those looking to lose 30+ lbs. Therefore the information falls on deaf ears: don't eat a Big Mac, eat a McChicken or cut back from three sodas to cut 600 empty calories or a routine that claims lifting 3lbs weights for 3 set will give you sexy toned arms.

None of this applies to me I don't eat fast food, junk food, fake food, whatever you want to call it plus I am not sedentary there for encouragement of minimal effort is not gonna cut it for me. What about me, where do I fit in???



That Friday night I did some real reading and real learning with less denial and resistance. I was able to reflect and acknowledge that despite not having a traditional junk food diet I needed to ADJUST mine or else I would keep spinning my wheels. I sorted out the gimmicks, sales pitches and found answers that will help ME. 
But something is missing... The discipline and commitment I have for my workouts need to be applied to my diet. 
So I am taking the first step, admitting I have a problem. Good-bye DENIAL! Next pin pointing the spots of RESISTANCE to help myself make positive changes. 


Needless to say this week has been rough my attitude has been really no bueno, I can't put all the blame on my diet because in the meantime real life is still happening too. But this journey is truly bringing me joy and is an exciting challenge, so this is just another level. So here we go, the honest truth (not just what I want to hear).

+Changes

eating a quality breakfast with good sources of protein everyday
beans with 2-3 meals a day (great source of natural fiber)
eating 3-4 times a day
minimal minimal amounts of cheese and not just minimal for me
no mindless snacking or snacking while I prep a meal (super bad habit)
increasing water intake
making an effort to eat more veggies
cutting back on coffee and switched from half and half to soy creamer(1g sugar)
smaller portions 


Some of my informative literature that prevented "Giving Up"
http://www.bodyrock.tv/2011/02/10/diet-challenge-1-superfoods/
http://www.findyourbodytype.com/ 
http://www.fourhourbody.com/
*I have not purchased any supplements or products based on any of the reading I am trying to just pick out the information that was relevant to me. So read with yourself in mind.


I am embracing these tweaks, reductions, adjustment and efforts. In turn I felt rejuvenated in my workouts this week and was finally able to see the progress I am making but wasn't willing to see before. I am glad this happened now and not in November...

And I can't say it enough, I LOVE LOVE LOVE

BODY ROCK 

It is not just about the workout but the community, the education and once you get into it, it becomes apart of your life and a day without Zuzana and Freddy feels lonely!

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Nothing Blue!

The past two weeks I have add a couple new tweaks to my routine... Variety is the spice of life!

Old: Two years ago I took my very first Pilates class. I LOVE Pilates, the blend of strength training and fluid stretching is my recipe for a well rounded routine. I had taken some time off from Pilates and I was so grateful to find out my favorite teacher, Gina De Loia is offering an evening class. I am so excited to reincorporate Pilates back into my routine.

New: BREAKFAST! In an effort to start my day off right I am committing to eating within 30 minutes of waking up. Most days I don't have the time to prepare much. I attempt to start my day off with a serving of protein to get me started. When I have not a minute to spare I make sure to eat a serving of cottage cheese. It may not be balanced but it is something.

I don't wanna look like this guy

Another new diet tweak is my cheese intake. In reality I was eating cheese in every meal and as snacks through out the day. I should be a Packers fan!!! I have made the change and so far it is not painful. I am leaving cheese out of the meals I make and no longer snacking on it. I am hoping this will help my efforts...
PS cottage cheese doesn't count.

Borrowed: I recently purchased a book called the 4 Hour Body. The author has put a lot of research behind testing non-traditional methods of diet and exercises. In the diet portion of the book he introduces a strict diet for 6 days and the 7th day is a binging free for all. I can't bring myself to do this freakish diet but he brought up some valid points about food digestion and more efficient ways to digest foods that should be a part of your regular diet. Long story sort he suggests 120 seconds of exercise pre and post cupcake. I have began squeezing in 40 squats prior to eating something I shouldn't and after. Also if I am out and about drinking and eating less then desirable treats, while on a bathroom break I will also do 40 squats. I laugh a little to myself when I am squatting but 2 things, first it makes me stop and think do I really want this x and don't feel like I am sabotaging my efforts.
*Side note; I can't stand this book. The information is very hard to retain or even receive because the author's talent as a writer is that of an attention starved frat boy turned scientist.

All this White Stuff...

No I am not going to talk about white flour, white bread 

or the middle of an Oreo... 

The snow is snowing on top of the snow!

This was my front yard... Yes this is shovel zone but FYI I am 5'5"

I have been pretty much snowed in since Tuesday. Normally I would begin to go stir crazy but I am loving this. When the snow falls at this rate and quantity it creates the most tranquil silence and amazing glow at night. 

So being stuck inside in front of the fire has stoked my inner fire and the fire under my ass. After last weeks low, creative slump, writers block, confectionery stupper, I am back...

I reflected on times when I succeeded at a "diet" and the mind frame I would evoke to get through it. I decided my diet only need minimal  tweaks. I mentioned before that I am not a morning person and I am able to see how it is not just about needing more sleep, I am missing breakfast... I live on 2 cups of coffee for 2-4 hours before I eat. So on to my point, I have been eating breakfast. Wow what a difference also I have been waking up during 6am, 7am and 5am with Kenny.

While being snowed in I ventured to make homemade black beans. Legumes are full of protein and fiber, SUPER FOOD! The ones that come in the can are loaded with sodium, no bueno! Well they turned out great. My breakfast this week has been delicious and keeping me going plus I feel less need to binge, snack or stray during the day. 

Breakfast: 1-3 eggs any style, mixed greens with spinach, black beans, cilantro, tomatoes, squeeze of lemon, a dash of spike.

All SUPER FOODS!

 Workout: yada yada, no biggie, keeping up and pushing myself hard, still Body Rocking

 However the workout of the week is....

Snow Boarding in waist deep powder!!!

I loved every freaking moment of it, the trees, the snow, the thrill, the falls! It was the perfect therapy for winter blues.

Also I have to say the best improvement of this winter compared to last is my new Snow Blower, the Kenny 3000! xoxo

In the Beggining... A re-post!

I am reposting my first blog post... I am using it to remind myself of my commitment and my goals... I will be honest self doubt was my biggest enemy and regret not having more faith in my MISSION. I didn't take a before picture, frankly I had the camera in hand but was mortified to push the button, also I didn't take measurements. However I do feel I avoided these steps because I had tried them before and I had failed.... Two months in that is not the case, I am happy to report I was lost a legitimate 10 lbs, my clothes fit better and my muscles are more defined!

I took a picture a couple weeks ago I am brave enough to share... I am still coveting the "before" photo from this summer!

Thank you everyone for the love and support, I hope you are setting goals with me. Also I have to give credit of my butt kicking routines to 
Body Rock TV , if you haven't checked it out you are missing out!



Nov. 11, 2011





Feb 4, 2011



*** Please Keep Me Motivated and 

"Follow" Me on My Journey***

It's easy just sign in to a google or yahoo account!

This is the post that started it all...
So I recently celebrated my 29th birthday. It was a little scary but a awesome opportunity for me to reflect on my 20's and they have been nothing short of amazing! However I noticed I am "a li'l full of shit" not when it come to my commitments to my family, friends and work but when it comes to myself. I make commitments, goals and promises to myself that I flake on about as quickly as I made them and I have been okay with that until now! I think women are especially prone to this and I am sure you can relate... So I am choosing to make a commitment to myself but to help change my pattern I am going to put it out in public. I am asking for support from all the people I am blessed with but in return I would like to give my support on your journey too.
My incredible 20's (and teen years) are now nicely reflected when I wear a bikini, not the worst but not the best. So my mission will be to reverse, recover, and remove the evidence of all my great adventures for my body! I know most of us have spoken about our diets, exercise and motivation while drinking cocktails and eating cheese. Now don't fret by no means am I suggesting getting rid of those traditions. I just think we could all use the extra support, motivation and a sounding board. 
Hopefully this little community will encourage all of us in not only our fitness goals but wherever one of us may feel like we have been neglecting.
Obviously there are a million and one ways to pursue our ideal selves and what works for one person may not for another. I am hoping this community will become a place to give motivation, variety and support not matter what means you may be using.
I am excited about some of the resources I have and love learning what maybe working for you. So that being said lets do this, so we can be some bad ass bitches!

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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>I am reposting my <span style="font-size: large;">first</span> blog post... I am using it to remind myself of my <span style="font-size: large;">commiment</span> and my <span style="font-size: large;">goals</span>... I will be honest self doubt was my biggest <span style="font-size: large;">enemy</span> and regrete not having more <span style="font-size: large;">faith</span> in my <span style="font-size: large;">MISSION</span>. I didn't take a before picture, frankly I had the camera in hand but was mortified to push the button, also I didn't take measurements. However I do feel I avoided these steps because I had tried them before and I had <span style="font-size: large;">failed</span>.... Two months in that is not the case, I am <span style="font-size: x-large;">happy</span> to report I was lost a legitimate 10 lbs, my clothes fit better and my <span style="font-size: large;">muscles</span> are more defined!</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>I took a picture a couple weeks ago I am brave enough to share... I am still coveting the "before" photo from this <span style="font-size: large;">summer</span>!</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Arial;">Thank you everyone for the love and support, I hope you are setting goals with me. Also I have to give credit of my butt kicking rountines to <a href="http://www.bodyrock.tv/%22%3EBody Rock TV</a>&nbsp;, if you haven't checked it out you are missing out!</span></strong></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nov. 11, 2011
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feb 4, 2011</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the post that started it all...</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I recently celebrated my 29th birthday. It was a little scary but a awesome opportunity for me to reflect on my 20's and they have been nothing short of amazing! However I noticed I am "a li'l full of shit" not when it come to my commitments to my family, friends and work but when it comes to myself. I make commitments, goals and promises to myself that I flake on about as quickly as I made them and I have been okay with that until now! I think women are especially prone to this and I am sure you can relate... So I am choosing to make a commitment to myself but to help change my pattern I am going to put it out in public. I am asking for support from all the people I am blessed with but in return I would like to give my support on your journey too.</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My incredible 20's (and teen years) are now nicely reflected when I wear a bikini, not the worst but not the best. So my mission will be to reverse, recover, and remove the evidence of all my great adventures for my body! I know most of us have spoken about our diets, exercise and motivation while drinking cocktails and eating cheese. Now don't fret by no means am I suggesting getting rid of those traditions. I just think we could all use the extra support, motivation and a sounding board.&nbsp; </span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hopefully this little community will encourage all of us in not only our fitness goals but wherever one of us may feel like we have been neglecting. </span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Obviously there are a million and one ways to pursue our ideal selves and what works for one person may not for another. I am hoping this community will become a place to give motivation, variety and support not matter what means you may be using.</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am excited about some of the resources I have and love learning what maybe working for you. So that being said lets do this, so we can be some bad ass bitches!</span>

Nutritional Bite for the Week...

In honor of my diet insanity this week I am trying to reel myself back to reality. I can't seem to feed myself anything remotely healthy or green, therefore I am highlighting Super Foods! No I am not talking about Odwalla's "Super Food" that packs 600 calories into a bottle by disguising thick pulpy fruit juice  in a murky green to make you think it is good for you. Nor I am I suggesting you contribute to robbing Brazil of it's precious Acai berry for $7 per serving. No gimmicks just healthy foods that will provide great benefits, they will fit into any budget and can be found in any store. Super Food should be included in every meal and snack. These food are nutrient rich and help satisfy hunger and sustain you longer, that is just the beginning...


Protein – lean red meat, salmon, eggs, low fat plain yogurt (some Greek brands have 20+ grams of protein), black beans, tofu/tempeh , kidney beans, low fat cottage cheese, chicken breasts, turkey breasts, protein supplements (check for sugars)
Veggies and Fruits – spinach, tomatoes, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, oranges, mixed berries, lettuce, bananas, grapefruits, cucumbers, kale, collards,
Carbs and Fiber – mixed beans, quinoa, whole oats, amaranth
Good Fats* – mixed nuts, avocados, extra virgin olive oil, fish oil, flax seeds (ground), coconut milk
* watch your portion control here, these foods are very dense in calories and easy to over do it

Drinks – green tea, coffee, H2O
I am not educated enough to promote any other drinks however drinks can be a diet sabotage so check your labels avoid high sugar content (fructose, sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, agave nectar, honey, can juice) they are additives that tack on extra calories.

How do I put this...

So I won't get into the nitty gritty but this past week I have a nut job

The Pattern of Monday

All is going well in my journey but I am beginning to notice a pattern that is slowing down my progress! It name is Monday. But Monday's energy is the victim of Mr. Weekend!

Yup my weekends are catching up with me and two Monday's in a row I am feeling like a li'l slug! Instead of getting discouraged or trowing in the towel I am using this example as a time to reflect. Ashlee pre29 would allow my sluggish mood, attitude, energy and feeling like crap cause me to retreat. Now my weekend behaviors include a Saturday workout,  it feels good kinda earning back a li'l more of the damage I will do...
This week in particular the sluggish feeling hung around all week... I didn't allow myself to be talked out of it or make excuses to not participate. I worked out everyday! Even during my Burpee Fusion workout, i took me 2 hours to talk myself into it and a text from Erin talking about her workout plan was what I needed... I talked, sang, used reps counting mind tricks to get myself through the it! Funny thing was my last 20 burpees were the easiest. I was a sweaty drooling running nose mess but I was a PROUD mess, 155 burpees will do that to a person... Also my form is getting impressive and I shaved more then a minute of my time!

Thanks for listening! I have a ton of blog posts running through my head right now, so stay tuned they will be good :)

Catching a Buzz...

In case anyone is paying attention I have tweaked my blog layout and tabs a tiny bit. I am riding the high of having more motivation and focus! They are great side affects to my original goal, to be smoking hot on 12/04/2011, my 30th birthday! I feel like my other interests and knowledge might be helpful in all of our goals to be a better person inside and out.


The new Tab are,
"Nutritional Bites" this page will be small morsels of information about nutrition and diet to help with a healthier you, me and us.

"Weekly Greens" will provide tips and information to help lead a greener lifestyle. Taking care of the Earth that always takes care of us!


To keep with the theme of my "Random Thought" about my anticipation of morning coffee. The first posts in my newest tabs will follow suit...

 

Random Thoughts...

I just got really excited for my coffee in the morning!!! However I won't be excited to wake up in the AM because I never am. I blame my lack of being a morning person on my mother, way back when and she signed me up for afternoon kindergarten... Thank you mom for the amazing ability to sleep in!

Plus I have found a new great joy... Previously it was my adorable ToGo mug from World Market they look just like a paper cup from any coffee shop but are ceramic with a silicone lid, adorable. Now I love drinking my coffee at home, I feel less rushed and it seems like my last sip is more satisfying. Unfortunately I have a addition to my coffee routine, popping the cream or milk into the microwave for 50 secs. all warm and frothy! I only say unfortunately because the whole not a morning person thing, every additional step cuts into my sleep :) Thanks Elysa for sharing your coffee secrets!

Going Green!

I changed up my layout because despite my mission, I have other passions and interests that do not include me being at the gym or talking about cheese! One of those things that I love and believe in is put forth the effort to be GREEN! I love the Earth and I think sharing good ideas to promote it's health is a responsibility I have because Mother Earth has always taken such good care of me... Each week I will post small tips or advice on making your lifestyle a li'l GREENER.

Week in the Knees!

My life is so full of blessings I am not sure where to start...

***Holly and I walking the shores of South Lake***

I have had such an amazing week and a half. I consider myself a happy person who can find the positive, I don't complain much and I can normally be found in the center of attention (LOL) but this mission I am on seems to keep my head in a great place. I feel my commitment to taking better care of myself and keeping myself on a more regimented schedule I am actually enjoying every day more then I thought I could.

I had a week of some butt kicking workouts! Along with the Body Rock workout the cardio has returned! Again it was a great surprise how much endurance I have built and it is not as mentally challenging as it used to be. Spending time on the treadmill feels really good and has been a nice addition to the strength training. One thing I have noticed is exercise within you limits. I have played sports since I was four years old and my joints have some major wear and tear, so word to the wise don't try to get completely parallel in a one legged squat... Despite my need to be competitive I have to listen to my body and a blown knee would really derail my mission! So push yourself but don't over do it...

Previously I would fluctuate a good 10-15lbs. within any given week. It is pretty freaking amazing how you can squeeze 10 extra pounds into your clothes and they still button, snap and zip. My zippers musty have been working hard!!! My jeans go on with out the stretch out dance, my T-shirts cover my muffin without having to layer up with a longer tank... Oh wait did I say muffin, I think this week I have a waist. I no longer have to check every angle in the mirror to make sure I don't have that dreaded dent! I think Fawne said it best last week as we were prepping for our workout, "I feel really good and can feel myself getting stronger, I know we still have work to do but what the hell was I thinking before? How did I think this was okay?" AMEN sister, how do we ignore our needs, our health and our waist line for such long periods of time and we think it is okay! Those day are gone, yes the physical benefits are awesome but the over flow into other parts of my life are as good as hours with a therapist.

The workouts have been a great stress relief and allow me to clear my head each day, as a teen alcohol and drug counselor, this is priceless. Each day I wake up feeling calm and rested. When I get to work, I can focus on the client I am with and stay present for them.

***Baby Drew the day he was born, 5 months ago***

In my personal life I keep my eyes open and my mind aware of how truly blessed I am for the special people I have in my life. Kenny and I had an awesome first date with our dear friends Corrie and Brian. Yes I say first date because it is the first time we dined together in dinner party style with the Aggers. This day I decided to skip my workout but got in plenty of biceps curls bouncing, snuggling and peek-a-booing with the most adorable 15 lbs. of joy, Corrie and Brian's baby, Drew! I just love him :)

Then I closed out the week with a fabulous event! A Wine Walk that included 4 houses with delicious treats and of course wine. It was a big success each house was visited for about 2 hours and the progression was themed like a meal... The crowd of people was great and well rounded, including my favorite Skagg Heather!!! Heather moved from Tahoe 2 1/2 years ago now and I miss her dearly but truly enjoy any time I get to spend with her. As far as I can tell there weren't too many casualties and I won't name names... With all my workout efforts not eating like it is my last meal is becoming effortless. I had a great time at the Wine Walk but didn't not feel like a stuffed myself costing me my workouts for the week. I included a couple photos to prove I am not a gym rat and actually have a life!

Closed the week out with some George Clinton funk and my first day snowboarding in 2 years! Wow what was i thinking I really miss being on the mountain???

***My sis and me. Can you tell we're related?***

***Grilled Cheese Bar. Delicious!***

***First Day on the Mountain in 2 Years!***

The Cheese Made Me Do It!

Where to begin, this last week was like 3 weeks rolled into one!!! A week like this in Ashlee Pre29 would have completely derailed me in my efforts...

I continue to learn a lot about myself on this journey and amazingly as my muscles get stronger so does my courage, my communication and my love. It has been really interesting as I have focused so much energy into taking care of my self physically I was ignoring something that was actually reeking havoc on my daily person. I have been suffering from insomnia and restless nights of sleep since the beginning of January. I guess I have a big tolerance for annoying things because when it finally hit me that I can't sleep at night I was so frustrated and decided I need to get to the bottom of this ASAP...

Family stuff=everyone is supportive, HAPPY and healthy

Relationship=keeps getting better!

Friendships=so blessed to have these people in my life

Work=frustrating and torture

Ding ding ding!

I had let some work issues eat away at me and fester during my hours of rest. During the day I am so busy and I have just been feeling such positive energy I think I was able to ignore it. Now it was at the for front of my mind and Ashlee at 29 had to take care of herself. To give you some background my job offers me a lot of freedoms and I am not micro managed at all so it is traditional for me to take care of issues and go weeks without interacting with my boss. It is very nice but at times it becomes difficult to actually ask for help. So once I pin pointed the cause of my insomnia I requested a sit down with my boss for the next day. That night I slept like a baby, I knew what we need to talk about and I had the confidence that I would be able to handle the sensitive subject matter without rehearsing it in my head over and over again until 4 am!!! Hallelujah!!!

This felt amazing I was so at peace with the situation, I just had a moment of clarity that this would need to be a fight or a situation where I had to argue my point and I was able to just let go. The meeting the nest day went amazing all of my "issues" were heard and extremely well received. 

From that moment on Thursday I realized I had gone through just about every emotion available to me this week! Until Friday a misunderstanding was brought to my attention along with that I had unintentionally hurt someone I love more then anything. This with a very emotional and tearful conversation (that I will not discuss the details) however was a truly powerful conversation that was very healing and a great moment of growth in our relationship. It was a true blessing because that visit was spontaneous but God knew this situation needed to be resolved right then.

Now on to the Cheese...

 Again I am learning... So I learned this week that I am not Super Woman and stress does get to me. I was previously immune to the thing and I thank my father for that... This week I experience stress and frustration to the point where by the end of the day Wednesday I developed at giant knot in my neck and back. I was pissed because my dear friend and massage therapist Rachelle had spent a lot of TLC in those areas just a couple weeks ago, WTF??? So that day I come home for lunch with my healthy eating habits in mind. I choose some butternut squash soup and as I wait for it to heat I decide to have a slice of cheese... A slice of cheese... Well that slice of cheese would taste delicious on a salty cracker, appropriately named Saltines and I just happen to have a sleeve open. Well an hour later and I barely touched my soup I consumed a small block of sharp cheddar over a sleeve of Saltines. DELICIOUS!!!

Well that was my confession, the stress got to me and I didn't care. 

Well the only problem with that is it was a set back, this week my eating habits were not what I have strived for and it set in motion the excuse of "well it's not that big of a deal" for everything I ate. So as I have committed to my exercise I now need to commit to MYSELF that my diet will be better and my choices will be healthier. When I am faced with stress I will acknowledge and respect it because when I ignore it my conscious takes a nap. So this is my wake up call and this week is now behind me and I have learned... I hope next week... I mean, next week I WILL be able to reports that my choices we better!!!

My workouts continue without hesitation and I will update my log... I am pretty freaking proud of myself, they continue to kick my ass but I LOVE every drip of sweat and burning rep I do!

The Wagon AKA the Fun Train

What is worse then falling off the wagon??? Never getting on the metaphorical wagon to begin with. I wouldn't say I fell off the wagon, maybe just took too long at the rest stop and now I have to catch back up!
I might be being a little dramatic but it is a nice change. In history my wild weekends would interfere with my workouts and slowly carry over into my weeks. Once I was out of balance in work vs. play it would be months before I could get back into a routine, this always felt like square one because all momentum and progress was lost. This time it is different...

My week was going really great workout wise, I feel my strength and endurance growing in leaps and bounds. Also my mentality is enjoying the routine and I am noticing positive changes in my mood, personal relationships and being attentive to other areas or goals I previously ignored.

The best part of my week was knowing two of my favorite people were coming to visit, Jenna and Sam! They are my original roommates from my first year in Santa Barbara. Sam set-up a Tahoe Birthday Bash and it was going to be a party!!!

Jenna's Rehearsal Dinner, Sam and I are getting the "I love you" speeches!

It seems appropriate that these are my BFs from college because that this was a throw back weekend full of flip cup, beer pong, PBR and I closed it with a reggae concert with 2 SB bands, including Iration our old neighbors!!! However this being the year I am committing to non-binging I controlled myself, despite the mild temptation I successfully escaped without chugging any beer...

I introduced Jenna to my new personal trainer, Zuzana, Body Rockin Queen! Jenna and I are built very similar except she is few inches taller but more importantly we a very similar when it comes to our fitness and diet habits...  As a matter of fact I stole a quote from Sam's maid of honor speech about Jenna to describe my blog! To give Jenna the credit she deserves she is smoking hot while being a wife, a nurse, oh and did I forget to mention she it a mother of the raddest 2 year old I know!

It was awesome to workout together side by side again... Maybe not the traditional get together for friends you don't see all the time but it suits us. We are also very competitive in nature, our Pictionary team lost the night before and we had to excuse ourselves from the group to disguise our disappointment. In college Jenna and I would hit the gym together and race on the elliptical, so it brought back fond memories. Jenna is very strong and has a great variety in her workouts which also includes working out with a trainer 2 days a week. It is easy to over estimate how hard you think you are working out but having Jenna there gave my a great gauge of the progress I am making. Ironically the workout we picked for the day was by far one of the most challenging ones I have done yet, Swimming in Sweat. Our competitive nature pushed us through our 155 burpees, why laugh, cried, complained and both questioned if this workout was possible... Well it was and we were both felt a sense of accomplishment.

Beyond our workout there were many great conversations that happened during our visit and more partying. We spent some time getting to know Sam's new friends from SF and they had a lot of great energy that filled their "grand ski cabin" during the weekend. Our friend Nikki from Santa Barbara also joined the party. Nikki recently lost her father to cancer and it was so nice to see her smile and laugh which I hope help her heal...

For the most part I will not complain or feel sorry for myself that I rested/recovered on Sunday and Monday but more embrace the fact that my new commitments still allow me to enjoy my life but also enjoy my personal goals... I was back in action today and it did feel like I was starting a car on a very cold night but once there was momentum I felt right back up to speed.

Wanna Cry... Tears of Joy

I am trying to be a more proactive blogger, can you tell??? Any who this week has been good I am coming out of my blah. I have been trying to focus on all the positives though, I got to spend time with two of my favorite girls yesterday Jenn and Whitney. For everyone that knows Jenn she is recovering from her surgery and is happy to have answers to her health issues and is moving on from her thyroid cancer. Yes people CANCER at 27 years old. Let her be a role model to you all, if something doesn't feel right be your own advocate. For 5 years Jenn has not been healthy and the doctors never had an answer for her.  She begins her radioactive iodine treatment soon, so if you see her be sure to stay 5 feet away :) I love Jen and Whitney, they are both so lively and fun to be around. Sometimes is is healthy to escape the Lakeshow...

     Me helping Whit with a dress malfunction!

      Jenn and I at a li'l baseball game pre-party!

So yesterday I missed my workout but I think my girl time was equally therapeutic. Yesterday's Burpee Madness will not go unnoticed! We are adding on to the back end of today's work out that our new trainer named, "Harder Then Ever Workout"... I think this will be the most painful lesson to not skip workouts!!! I am still feeling fatigued in my legs and arms from Cherry Boom and Psycho Sit-UPs.

Well I will let you know how it goes tonight or not if I don't survive it...

Other POSITIVE notes: Ray is recovering nicely from his ankle fusion surgery and is being a good sport even after the morphine wore off.
Debi's niece was finally born!!! After a scare with her breathing is now home safe and sound.
Kenny loves his new job.

He traded a shirt and tie with this view,  

 

To driving a snowmobile to rescue injured skiers, oh an lets not for get the view!

  

It is pretty easy to talk yourself out of a funk when you have so many blessing to account for, including the physical ability to do the workouts that make me wanna cry!