Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Cheese Made Me Do It!

Where to begin, this last week was like 3 weeks rolled into one!!! A week like this in Ashlee Pre29 would have completely derailed me in my efforts...

I continue to learn a lot about myself on this journey and amazingly as my muscles get stronger so does my courage, my communication and my love. It has been really interesting as I have focused so much energy into taking care of my self physically I was ignoring something that was actually reeking havoc on my daily person. I have been suffering from insomnia and restless nights of sleep since the beginning of January. I guess I have a big tolerance for annoying things because when it finally hit me that I can't sleep at night I was so frustrated and decided I need to get to the bottom of this ASAP...
Family stuff=everyone is supportive, HAPPY and healthy
Relationship=keeps getting better!
Friendships=so blessed to have these people in my life
Work=frustrating and torture
Ding ding ding!
I had let some work issues eat away at me and fester during my hours of rest. During the day I am so busy and I have just been feeling such positive energy I think I was able to ignore it. Now it was at the for front of my mind and Ashlee at 29 had to take care of herself. To give you some background my job offers me a lot of freedoms and I am not micro managed at all so it is traditional for me to take care of issues and go weeks without interacting with my boss. It is very nice but at times it becomes difficult to actually ask for help. So once I pin pointed the cause of my insomnia I requested a sit down with my boss for the next day. That night I slept like a baby, I knew what we need to talk about and I had the confidence that I would be able to handle the sensitive subject matter without rehearsing it in my head over and over again until 4 am!!! Hallelujah!!!
This felt amazing I was so at peace with the situation, I just had a moment of clarity that this would need to be a fight or a situation where I had to argue my point and I was able to just let go. The meeting the nest day went amazing all of my "issues" were heard and extremely well received. 
From that moment on Thursday I realized I had gone through just about every emotion available to me this week! Until Friday a misunderstanding was brought to my attention along with that I had unintentionally hurt someone I love more then anything. This with a very emotional and tearful conversation (that I will not discuss the details) however was a truly powerful conversation that was very healing and a great moment of growth in our relationship. It was a true blessing because that visit was spontaneous but God knew this situation needed to be resolved right then.

Now on to the Cheese...
 Again I am learning... So I learned this week that I am not Super Woman and stress does get to me. I was previously immune to the thing and I thank my father for that... This week I experience stress and frustration to the point where by the end of the day Wednesday I developed at giant knot in my neck and back. I was pissed because my dear friend and massage therapist Rachelle had spent a lot of TLC in those areas just a couple weeks ago, WTF??? So that day I come home for lunch with my healthy eating habits in mind. I choose some butternut squash soup and as I wait for it to heat I decide to have a slice of cheese... A slice of cheese... Well that slice of cheese would taste delicious on a salty cracker, appropriately named Saltines and I just happen to have a sleeve open. Well an hour later and I barely touched my soup I consumed a small block of sharp cheddar over a sleeve of Saltines. DELICIOUS!!!
Well that was my confession, the stress got to me and I didn't care. 
Well the only problem with that is it was a set back, this week my eating habits were not what I have strived for and it set in motion the excuse of "well it's not that big of a deal" for everything I ate. So as I have committed to my exercise I now need to commit to MYSELF that my diet will be better and my choices will be healthier. When I am faced with stress I will acknowledge and respect it because when I ignore it my conscious takes a nap. So this is my wake up call and this week is now behind me and I have learned... I hope next week... I mean, next week I WILL be able to reports that my choices we better!!!
My workouts continue without hesitation and I will update my log... I am pretty freaking proud of myself, they continue to kick my ass but I LOVE every drip of sweat and burning rep I do!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Wagon AKA the Fun Train

What is worse then falling off the wagon??? Never getting on the metaphorical wagon to begin with. I wouldn't say I fell off the wagon, maybe just took too long at the rest stop and now I have to catch back up!
I might be being a little dramatic but it is a nice change. In history my wild weekends would interfere with my workouts and slowly carry over into my weeks. Once I was out of balance in work vs. play it would be months before I could get back into a routine, this always felt like square one because all momentum and progress was lost. This time it is different...

My week was going really great workout wise, I feel my strength and endurance growing in leaps and bounds. Also my mentality is enjoying the routine and I am noticing positive changes in my mood, personal relationships and being attentive to other areas or goals I previously ignored.

The best part of my week was knowing two of my favorite people were coming to visit, Jenna and Sam! They are my original roommates from my first year in Santa Barbara. Sam set-up a Tahoe Birthday Bash and it was going to be a party!!!
Jenna's Rehearsal Dinner, Sam and I are getting the "I love you" speeches!

It seems appropriate that these are my BFs from college because that this was a throw back weekend full of flip cup, beer pong, PBR and I closed it with a reggae concert with 2 SB bands, including Iration our old neighbors!!! However this being the year I am committing to non-binging I controlled myself, despite the mild temptation I successfully escaped without chugging any beer...

I introduced Jenna to my new personal trainer, Zuzana, Body Rockin Queen! Jenna and I are built very similar except she is few inches taller but more importantly we a very similar when it comes to our fitness and diet habits...  As a matter of fact I stole a quote from Sam's maid of honor speech about Jenna to describe my blog! To give Jenna the credit she deserves she is smoking hot while being a wife, a nurse, oh and did I forget to mention she it a mother of the raddest 2 year old I know!

It was awesome to workout together side by side again... Maybe not the traditional get together for friends you don't see all the time but it suits us. We are also very competitive in nature, our Pictionary team lost the night before and we had to excuse ourselves from the group to disguise our disappointment. In college Jenna and I would hit the gym together and race on the elliptical, so it brought back fond memories. Jenna is very strong and has a great variety in her workouts which also includes working out with a trainer 2 days a week. It is easy to over estimate how hard you think you are working out but having Jenna there gave my a great gauge of the progress I am making. Ironically the workout we picked for the day was by far one of the most challenging ones I have done yet, Swimming in Sweat. Our competitive nature pushed us through our 155 burpees, why laugh, cried, complained and both questioned if this workout was possible... Well it was and we were both felt a sense of accomplishment.

Beyond our workout there were many great conversations that happened during our visit and more partying. We spent some time getting to know Sam's new friends from SF and they had a lot of great energy that filled their "grand ski cabin" during the weekend. Our friend Nikki from Santa Barbara also joined the party. Nikki recently lost her father to cancer and it was so nice to see her smile and laugh which I hope help her heal...

For the most part I will not complain or feel sorry for myself that I rested/recovered on Sunday and Monday but more embrace the fact that my new commitments still allow me to enjoy my life but also enjoy my personal goals... I was back in action today and it did feel like I was starting a car on a very cold night but once there was momentum I felt right back up to speed.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Wanna Cry... Tears of Joy

I am trying to be a more proactive blogger, can you tell??? Any who this week has been good I am coming out of my blah. I have been trying to focus on all the positives though, I got to spend time with two of my favorite girls yesterday Jenn and Whitney. For everyone that knows Jenn she is recovering from her surgery and is happy to have answers to her health issues and is moving on from her thyroid cancer. Yes people CANCER at 27 years old. Let her be a role model to you all, if something doesn't feel right be your own advocate. For 5 years Jenn has not been healthy and the doctors never had an answer for her.  She begins her radioactive iodine treatment soon, so if you see her be sure to stay 5 feet away :) I love Jen and Whitney, they are both so lively and fun to be around. Sometimes is is healthy to escape the Lakeshow...
     Me helping Whit with a dress malfunction!

      Jenn and I at a li'l baseball game pre-party!

So yesterday I missed my workout but I think my girl time was equally therapeutic. Yesterday's Burpee Madness will not go unnoticed! We are adding on to the back end of today's work out that our new trainer named, "Harder Then Ever Workout"... I think this will be the most painful lesson to not skip workouts!!! I am still feeling fatigued in my legs and arms from Cherry Boom and Psycho Sit-UPs.

Well I will let you know how it goes tonight or not if I don't survive it...

Other POSITIVE notes: Ray is recovering nicely from his ankle fusion surgery and is being a good sport even after the morphine wore off.
Debi's niece was finally born!!! After a scare with her breathing is now home safe and sound.
Kenny loves his new job.
He traded a shirt and tie with this view,  

To driving a snowmobile to rescue injured skiers, oh an lets not for get the view!

It is pretty easy to talk yourself out of a funk when you have so many blessing to account for, including the physical ability to do the workouts that make me wanna cry!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Feeling So Fly...

 So as life would have it after this weekend I was kinda feeling blah, just life stuff, but it seems to be in the air because I know I am not the only one. Despite feeling blah, the "Mission" must go on.

To step it up a notch I have adjusted my diet to help support the effort I am putting into my exercises. Starting last week good bye processed foods and my normal intake of 75% cheese and 25% sugar :) Week one went by pretty smooth, hit a couple cheat moments but very minimal. It felt good to match my physical commitment to my mental commitment. Last week I really noticed my clothes were fitting better, I was no longer  fearing my jeans in the dryer.  Despite that the feeling of Blah set in...

But today is a new day. Buh-Bye Blah, hello G6!!!!

Dear Far East Movement,
Thank you for giving me the perfect tag ling to capture how I felt after today's workout!
Love, Me

The workouts have been kicked up a notch too, we are doubling workouts and adding extra cardio as of yesterday. Well let me just say today Fawne and I got to experience something amazing...
We choose our workout routine: Cherry Cherry Boom Boom and decided to throw in an additional 100 medicine ball sit-up Bad Ass Sit-Ups.
The workout was brutal and demanding of all our strength. Fawne and I both had unspoken apprehension about our addition. I was so worked by the end of the Cherry Boom, I almost squeaked out, "Screw it, let go home." But that is the old me, so I kept my mouth shut, grabbed my medicine ball and laid down. So the timer started and off we went. Fawne and I completed our goal in 8 min!!! Now if you review my workout log, I have not done a SINGLE sit-up in a month!!! We busted these out in perfect form, our feet flat on the ground without a spotter... This is a HUGE testament to our over all growth and increase in strength.
As the early phase of this journey it already feels different then any other attempt to better myself. Despite noticing my clothes are fitting better, I am mostly encouraged by how I feel through out the day. It is awesome to know that no amount of dieting would ever give my the strength to complete these workouts. The constancy and determination are my bread and butter!!!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

2011 and it's time to shine!

Month one down, eleven more left to reach my goal and I am thankful for that time! I have had landmarks before to encourage me to step-up my work outs, go on a diet or do some cleanse that turned my into a starving biatch. One of two things happened, either I followed through with the system to feel a little more trim for the event or just put it off daily until I had one day to skinny up! Thankfully I have maintained a quasi in shape figure so don't worry I am not giving my self a complex.  However this realistic goal of giving myself a year to follow through and not with a  traditional binge and purge, I feel this year will prepare me for the type of healthy lifestyle I would like to maintain at all phases of my life.

That being said Month One has been fantastic, I even wish I could give it a fancier name! I have stuck with my workout routine and only took a couple day off for NYE. My workouts make me feels great and really complete my day. I feel at this point they are becoming so routine, it is like brushing your teeth, if you skip it your whole day just feels funky!

My workouts are completely challenging but are a fun competition I have with myself each day. Beyond the moments of actually exercising, the energy and gratification carries me into the next day. It is fun to share, brag, cheer each other on, compare sorenesses and get reved up for that day's workout!

Unlike other techniques I have used before, the general excitement of my friends, family and coworkers is contagious and supportive. People have heard us plan our routine for the day or share the agony we were in after the 400th jump lunge and now they too are on the G6 ride.

It has made month one fly by and the muscles to build and the fat to melt! This is really not about a smaller jean size but more about a personal journey that helps each of us find our strength in character and puts us on the path of being the best "me" that God intended us to be.

PS in case anyone is wondering if I am losing any bit of my fiery side... For the record just because I have completed my daily workout doesn't mean I didn't have to shake off the residue from the night before and suck it up. I am just trying to be more balanced, these effort will not be lost to Rigaberto's and hangovers...

Cheers to 2011!!! Wishing you all the best in love, health and happiness...