Where to begin, this last week was like 3 weeks rolled into one!!! A week like this in Ashlee Pre29 would have completely derailed me in my efforts...
I continue to learn a lot about myself on this journey and amazingly as my muscles get stronger so does my courage, my communication and my love. It has been really interesting as I have focused so much energy into taking care of my self physically I was ignoring something that was actually reeking havoc on my daily person. I have been suffering from insomnia and restless nights of sleep since the beginning of January. I guess I have a big tolerance for annoying things because when it finally hit me that I can't sleep at night I was so frustrated and decided I need to get to the bottom of this ASAP...
Family stuff=everyone is supportive, HAPPY and healthy
Relationship=keeps getting better!
Friendships=so blessed to have these people in my life
Work=frustrating and torture
Ding ding ding!
I had let some work issues eat away at me and fester during my hours of rest. During the day I am so busy and I have just been feeling such positive energy I think I was able to ignore it. Now it was at the for front of my mind and Ashlee at 29 had to take care of herself. To give you some background my job offers me a lot of freedoms and I am not micro managed at all so it is traditional for me to take care of issues and go weeks without interacting with my boss. It is very nice but at times it becomes difficult to actually ask for help. So once I pin pointed the cause of my insomnia I requested a sit down with my boss for the next day. That night I slept like a baby, I knew what we need to talk about and I had the confidence that I would be able to handle the sensitive subject matter without rehearsing it in my head over and over again until 4 am!!! Hallelujah!!!
This felt amazing I was so at peace with the situation, I just had a moment of clarity that this would need to be a fight or a situation where I had to argue my point and I was able to just let go. The meeting the nest day went amazing all of my "issues" were heard and extremely well received.
From that moment on Thursday I realized I had gone through just about every emotion available to me this week! Until Friday a misunderstanding was brought to my attention along with that I had unintentionally hurt someone I love more then anything. This with a very emotional and tearful conversation (that I will not discuss the details) however was a truly powerful conversation that was very healing and a great moment of growth in our relationship. It was a true blessing because that visit was spontaneous but God knew this situation needed to be resolved right then.
Now on to the Cheese...
Again I am learning... So I learned this week that I am not Super Woman and stress does get to me. I was previously immune to the thing and I thank my father for that... This week I experience stress and frustration to the point where by the end of the day Wednesday I developed at giant knot in my neck and back. I was pissed because my dear friend and massage therapist Rachelle had spent a lot of TLC in those areas just a couple weeks ago, WTF??? So that day I come home for lunch with my healthy eating habits in mind. I choose some butternut squash soup and as I wait for it to heat I decide to have a slice of cheese... A slice of cheese... Well that slice of cheese would taste delicious on a salty cracker, appropriately named Saltines and I just happen to have a sleeve open. Well an hour later and I barely touched my soup I consumed a small block of sharp cheddar over a sleeve of Saltines. DELICIOUS!!!
Well that was my confession, the stress got to me and I didn't care.
Well the only problem with that is it was a set back, this week my eating habits were not what I have strived for and it set in motion the excuse of "well it's not that big of a deal" for everything I ate. So as I have committed to my exercise I now need to commit to MYSELF that my diet will be better and my choices will be healthier. When I am faced with stress I will acknowledge and respect it because when I ignore it my conscious takes a nap. So this is my wake up call and this week is now behind me and I have learned... I hope next week... I mean, next week I WILL be able to reports that my choices we better!!!
My workouts continue without hesitation and I will update my log... I am pretty freaking proud of myself, they continue to kick my ass but I LOVE every drip of sweat and burning rep I do!